Marriage and Bad Hair Days

Greetings Reader,

Do you remember one of those days when everything that could go wrong, did?  It happens to the best of us, and when it unfolds it feels like a sick dominoes game. My husband had one today, and couldn’t stop talking about all the gory details. Then when he was done, he seemed just ducky, and sat down to watch the news (about other people’s bad day). Clients of mine often do that, and then seem to feel some catharsis when they’ve drawn me in as witness to the misery. However, I’m less likely to make the mistake of offering some chirpy spin on the story as a therapist, than I am as a spouse. In an effort to provide support or show empathy to our husbands or wives, I think we often give unsolicited advice, opinions or solutions. Husbands are usually the biggest culprits here, having been trained by the culture to “fix” things. We all need to LISTEN more, and ATTEND to our partner’s experience! They’ll usually tell us if they need anything else, or they’ll just go on with the story…

Good night and good luck,
Susan Lager

P.S. Check out my recently published articles about couples issues at:

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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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