Couplespeak™ Blog

Stop Right There: Unhealthy Habits to Kick for a Better Personal Life

Woman Wrapped With Stop Tape — Portsmouth, N.H — Susan Lager
Image Courtesy of Pexels

Here’s an excellent guest article by Cheryl Conklin from about tools for self nurture and for avoiding negative thoughts and behaviors. These tools are important for everyday life, and even more critical during the pandemic.

Stop. No, really, stop. Those harmful habits of yours are hurting you! Not sure which ones are damaging? Being negative, hanging out with toxic people, getting no exercise, spreading yourself too thin with poor time management, and comparing yourself to others are all habits you should break. Read on to learn more.

Being Negative

Being negative doesn’t necessarily mean being angry or frustrated — those are normal human emotions. It’s how you handle these emotions and the situations in which you feel them that you can work on. Verywell Mind explains that managing negative emotions comes down to embracing the feeling(s), determining why you feel that way, allowing yourself to understand the message your mind is sending, and releasing the feeling(s) to move forward.

Don’t miss my next BlogTalk Radio podcast Wed., 6/17/20 8:30 PM EST: “Strategies for Living More Fully Amidst the Covid 19 Pandemic”

Hello Reader,

If you’re reading this at the time it’s being written then chances are, you’re grateful to still be healthy if you’re not already sick, you’re missing loved ones you can’t get on a plane to see or grieving someone you’ve lost, you’re sick of Zoom as your main connection to your work and social life, you miss going to public places and mingling with people up close, you miss simple things like stress-free grocery shopping, you’re wondering who’s next to die, you’re worried about how long you can hold onto the job you never loved, and among many other things, you’re wondering if you’ll live long enough to see the vaccine which could change everything.

I’ll be focusing my next BlogTalkRadio podcast on these issues, and sharing my ideas for how to maintain some sanity through this crisis. Don’t miss this 20 minute episode!

Tune in live 6/17/20 8:30 PM EST with questions or comments at 877-497-9046 or stream the podcast whenever you’d like at

One way or the other I hope you can join me!

Life in Coronaland – “Is Cilantro Worth Dying for?”

Remember the days when you’d run out of an ingredient you needed for a special recipe and you could just head out to your local supermarket to get it – without fear of death? Remember ambling around with your cart up one aisle and down the next, getting all kinds of things you barely needed without having a panic attack when you encountered another human nearby? OMG! Breathing! Holy sh*t! – a cough! a sneeze! Remember being out and about without face masks, face shields, plastic gloves and barrels of sanitizer and wipes? Ah, life was so simple, spending money mindlessly shopping was such a joy!

(Fast forward to two weeks ago): Needing cilantro for a special dish, and having to think about its possible cost – will this be the trip that does me in? Or, will this errand be the tipping point – I get Covid 19, don’t know it because I’m asymptomatic and end up killing my immune-compromised husband?

So, the inevitable question: How important is that cilantro? Or that long overdue haircut? Or that rescheduled elective surgery on my toes? Is self indulgence, convenience or vanity justifiable  in the Age of Covid 19? What’s really important to me? What costs are worth it? What kind of a person am I? Who am I willing to sentence to death for my wants?

Is cilantro worth dying for?……………………….

I’m Finally Back….

If you’re a follower of this blog you may have been wondering where I was all summer – why no posts?? Where’s the new material, any new tools or resources, even just thoughts?

The answer is: I’ve been having too much fun practicing what I preach to clients: nourishing connection with self, family and friends, mostly outside, nowhere near a computer! I’ve put away the devices, as we all should do with some intentionality, and practiced more face-to-face experiences. How can a cell phone or a laptop compete with a glorious, sunny 80 degree day on the lake with beloved family or friends? How can researching and posting about all the new resources for creating joy and meaning compete with the meaning derived by loving up the local shelter dogs each Monday? And what “work-related” activity on Earth can compete with days at the beach or the park with our irrepressible two year old granddaughter Anna and Old Soul grand-dog Barley? What thoughtful article or diligent new podcast could possibly compete with immersion in the magnificence of our coast, our mountains, our rivers and forests here in the Northeast for the measly three months of friendly weather? None!!!

Then, there’s the other knee with it’s own torn meniscus, amplifying a sense of needing to “make hay while the sun shines”, knowing the inevitable surgery is around the corner (successfully completed today), bringing with it mandatory vegging out on the couch and a perfect opportunity to get back together with all my devices, my writing, my internal world.

So, there you have it – iced knee on pillows, hoping for crappy weather to avoid FOMO, and lots to share once again with you, my gentle readers whom I hope will forgive my incognito, hedonistic summer and know that I’m finally back…


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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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