Couplespeak™ Blog

Giving Up

Hello Reader,

I’ve met with a number of very stressed clients and colleagues this past week, many of whom share a similar complaint — that the path they’re on just feels too hard and unrelenting. We all get discouraged at times, with whatever journey we’re on, and it can be a simultaneously bleak and relieving thought to “just give up”.  Then I heard something very compelling said by one of the nominated CNN “heroes”, (a breed unto themselves, a model of integrity and compassion for us all). When asked if he ever felt like giving up his difficult mission, he said “Of course! I give up once a week, then I get back to work, when I’ve gotten the despair out of my system.”

What a great attitude– legitimize your frustration, designate some time for it, then pick yourself up, and get back to work! I actually used it on myself today. Yesterday, I had multiple frustrations with insurance companies, (the bane of my existence), hassles with technology, and scheduling glitches, so I “gave up!” Today I had several clients who needed to be seen and I wanted to see, amidst an entire day of drilling, paving and exhaust fumes coming from the repaving of the entire rear parking lot. Not to mention the frigid temperature in my office coming through the still broken window (the one a kid hurled a rock through last week), and continued needed preparations for the Thanksgiving weekend with family, amidst my wish to have everything sparkling, and lovely. I had the “I give up!” thought on my way home, then paused, and remembered that I did that yesterday, so it wasn’t an option to go there today, that if I really needed to, I could “give up” next week when my “turn” came up again. It was very soothing, and containing and ridiculously funny all at once! Try it, and see what you think!

Good night, good luck, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Susan Lager

Thank God It’s Friday!!!!!!

Hello Reader,

How often have you sighed and exclaimed “T.G.I.F.!!!!!”? You’ve probably collapsed into an easy chair with a big glass of wine and bemoaned the long hours at work, the fussy outfits, your aching back, your pain in the butt boss, the oppressive paperwork, the endless emails, the boring conference calls, the difficult clients, the rancid coffeecups, the office gossip, etc., etc…..

How often have you reflected upon the job well done, the pride of challenges overcome, the heartfelt connections, the silly inside jokes, and the satisfaction of making your own small difference on the planet? Take a few moments to pat yourself on the back for probably doing a few things very right this week. Remember, it’s only two days before you can complain about the weekend!

Happy Friday,
Susan Lager

One Block Away

Good (almost) Morning!

Today was one of those bizarre days. I was already five minutes late for a lunch date with a friend and colleague, furiously rinsing my hair in the shower when the Gutter Guy shows up needing to know where there’s a leak in the new system. I race downstairs, wet and soapy, give him his instructions, finish the shower, and race to meet my friend at the cafe. We have a spirited lunch, while at the next table a previous client and his wife are openly attesting to the benefits of couples therapy with me, unfazed by our juxtaposition. Then I race into Portsmouth, and curse a “little detour” created by TV crews, onlookers, and police cars. I’m driving too fast to notice the machinegun-toting swat team, rooftop snipers, and bomb- squad robots surrounding a Greyhound bus on Hanover Street. I proceed with my day of clients, intent on their problems, while one block away the center of Portsmouth is being evacuated due to a bomb threat, possibly a terrorist attack. Meanwhile, one block away from that, my son is sitting in an outdoor cafe with a close friend sipping lemonades surrounded by throngs of shoppers and tourists happily enjoying the glorious spring day.  He and the entire staff have just been sent home from their mutual fund brokerage where everyone had been glued to two TV’s: one graphically witnessing the unfolding “bomb scene” nearby, the other documenting the inexplicable 1000 point three hour plunge in the stock market.

I say, it’s all a matter of perspective in life.

Sleep tight,
Susan Lager

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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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