If you’re a regular reader here, maybe you’ve noticed my absence for the last several weeks. It’s been the dog days of summer here in New England, raining nonstop, then boiling hot, then more rain. In spite of the weird weather, we in the Northeast treasure our summers ferociously, trying to capitalize on the three months of the year when snow and blizzards are unlikely. So, I too have been haunting the beaches, the lakes and the mountains, rain or shine. But, most notably, I’ve been almost completely unplugged from my devices (except for my professional voicemail), and LOVING IT!!!
For weeks now, no blogging, no radio shows, no YouTube videos, hardly a tweet, no clever Facebook entries, no LinkedIn updates, no book drafts, no cellphone calls, nothing!
Instead of daily “tech dialysis” I’ve gone tooling around without the world being able to contact me, and the only one who even seems to notice is my husband who thinks it’s inconsiderate. (We’re working on a compromise).
I’ve gone to lunches and dinners with people I enjoy having conversations with, instead of whining to tech support.
I’ve gotten off my laptop and rekindled connections with colleagues and old friends. (They’re still alive!)
I’ve actually been reading books and magazines just for fun! Freedom from emails and Google!
I’ve been preparing for my boating license test, learning all about “starboard stand-on” versus “port give-way,” halyards, double clove knots, and such vital things I’ll need to know on the waterways when I’m supposedly “manning the vessel.”
I’ve gone on hikes, bike rides, and car rides in the countryside instead of doing professional gigs.
I’ve nurtured my garden, watered the lawn, planted new beds, and fought Japanese beetles instead of battling scam sites and internet viruses.
I’ve visited other cities, just for fun trips to see the sites. (Cheated a bit with some book promo).
I’ve watched movies, plays and silly TV shows without any “productive justification.”
And miraculously, without all the internet busyness, I’ve gone to sleep most nights at a normal hour, not on my usual vampire schedule!
I’m telling you, getting unplugged can be a total joy! How novel – life without devices! Try it!
Big Summer Cheers,
Susan Lager
I have recently come out of my annual tax trance – the time of year when I’m so immersed in columns of figures and tabulations that a meteor could hit the house and I’d barely notice it. Luckily, my impression is that this oblivious state seems to abate in mid March when I return to my usual therapist’s occupational hazard of incessantly questioning and noticing things.
I like to think that I’m generally pretty committed to a process of self-examination, particularly in my relationships. It’s a daily practice, though, to do this, kind of like working out or maintaining good sleep habits. Like sobriety, it’s easy to fall off the wagon and go back into a behavioral and attitudinal trance at any point, so I’ll share a few of the 20 key questions I’ve devised that you can reflect upon in order to be more awake in your relationships:
- What am I most insecure about?
- What defenses do I use to protect myself emotionally?
- How might these defenses be hurtful to others?
- Are there other, more benign defenses I could use?
- Do I apologize when I’ve been out of line? If so, how?
- Do I self-medicate with substances? If so, how, when, and with whom?
- What would happen if I were more open?
If you start with these questions, and are honest with yourself about what you see, I think you’ll open up a process of taking more responsibility for yourself, and move toward being more awake in your relationships. For more details about the other 13 key “consciousness questions,” as well as a wealth of information about how to thrive in all your partnerships, grab a copy of my new workbook, “Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy” available in paperback, and now also as an eBook on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/12ALenB
I know you’ll enjoy it!
Susan Lager
I am delighted to announce that FINALLY my new workbook, “Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime of Therapy” has been published and is available as a paperback on Amazon! It’s a goldmine of tools and skills necessary for you to do better in any relationship. If I do say so myself, I think you’ll LOVE it! (I do). Enjoy!
You can purchase it now on my CreateSpace eStore at: https://www.createspace.com/4077013
Or, you can get it on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/WBK83q
Tune into my BlogTalk Radio show, “Be A Better Partner With Self Awareness,” Wednesday, January 30th at 8:30 PM EST. Call in toll-free 877-497-9046 to just listen or join me live on the air. In this episode I’ll explore the issue of how knowing one’s own hangups can vastly improve any relationship.
Using some key tools from my newest workbook “Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy,” I’ll shares some vital questions we all must ask ourselves in order to be more conscious and loving in our partnerships. To get the book as a guide, go to: http://amzn.to/WBK83q
Don’t miss this episode if you want to get a first peek at some of the simple, but very important questions you must start asking yourself to have happier relationships!
On January 2, 2013 I did my last BlogTalk Radio Show, “2012 Year In Review. Options For Looking Back, Then Forward.” It was a very successful episode with quite a few live callers, and nearly 500 “listens” to the recorded show in the five days since then! As per your many requests, I’m posting the two types of reviews here, each creating a very different sense of things, and a different spin on your life, looking back, then forward.
To hear the recorded show in its entirety, go to: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager
If you’re doing your own 2012 Year In Review you could reflect back in the most common way on these things:
- how much money you made or didn’t
- how often your body broke down with illness
- how many vacations you went on, and if they were worth the cost, and the time you took off
- how much weight you gained or lost
- if you finally stopped smoking or not
- how your spouse drove you crazy
- which friends let you down, and how
- if you got your house de-cluttered or not
- who had a messy affair; who got divorced
- how much you wasted your gym membership
- your guilt about not reading more books
- your disappointments as a parent
- tragedies which occurred, making you paranoid
- the huge amount of taxes you paid or now owe
(Blah, blah, blah….) Any others I’ve missed?
Or you could do this kind of Year In Review:
- what were my major accomplishments at work?
- what positive steps did I take in my marriage?
- how was I more thoughtful and loving to my family?
- did I do any better at setting appropriate limits around time asked of me
- how well did I take care of myself physically?
- did I expand myself intellectually and spiritually?
- what major lessons did I learn in 2012?
- did I have enough fun this past year?
- did I stand up for what’s important to me?
- what did I model for my children?
- was I a generous enough friend to the people I care about?
- whose accomplishments brought me joy?
Get the difference? After you have (hopefully) chosen the latter set of reflections, you have a beginning template for an even better 2013! For help regarding negative self talk, feel free to contact me at my office at 603-431-7131 to set up an appointment for some brief psychotherapy work.
Tune into my next show on Wednesday, Jan. 30th. And have a happy, productive and meaningful New Year!
