Tune into this 30-40 minute episode I’ll be co-hosting with a unique relationship mentor, Valerie Greene, who helps couples to stop fighting and fall in love again, and who helps women inspire their husbands or partners into deeper love and intimacy, not relational dread. Providing a highly successful alternative to relationship therapy, Valerie helps women and couples move beyond problem-solving and communication skills to create a secure emotional CONNECTION.
Tune into this special episode to learn more from Valerie about how to transform relationship conflict into deeper intimacy, avoiding the relational moves that repel love. Join us live with your questions or comments by calling into the studio at: 877-497-9046. If you can’t make the live show simply go to: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager to hear the recording afterward.
Here we are on the eve of another Valentine’s Day. Chances are, you’re running around frantically looking for flowers or chocolates for your honey, wanting to tell them how much you care. If you’ve been remiss and haven’t expressed these feelings in words or meaningful actions then you’re behind the eight ball right now. But, there’s hope!…..
There are thousands of ways to show your partner that your care. It may be a bit late for this Valentine’s Day, but not too late for every day of this year! If you’re lacking ideas about how to express your love in ways that will resonate with your partner, don’t give up by just doing the perfunctory Valentine’s Day stuff. Here are two terrific books I encourage couples to buy and use every single day of the year. Remember, change doesn’t happen in one giant Hallmark moment, but through thousands of choices, large and small, throughout your life.
Most people loathe dating. You’re on your best behavior, putting on an Academy Awards performance. Usually underneath the polite chatter is a stream of self talk about whether this person you’ve met is a viable “candidate” for life partnership. It’s a giant size-up game, which is particularly nerve-racking for people who have gone through a divorce, and already often feel a bit bruised, discarded or unlovable. Some typical dilemmas center around the issues of:
- feeling objectified
- fear of getting hurt again
- whether it’s fair to move forward if you know this person isn’t your version of marriage material
- how much to share
- who takes initiative
- who pays
- when and if to have sex
- when and if to tell your kids
- when to introduce this person to your family
- fear of making the same mistakes
- what’s okay to put up with
In my therapy work with dating clients I tell them that there are four firm guidelines I suggest which can make the whole thing easier and more fun:
- Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and honor them. Stand by yourself.
- Keep your sense of humor. It helps you maintain perspective. If it goes badly, chances are that nobody will get killed.
- Insist upon reciprocity. Expect give and take. Share responsibility for making things happen or not.
- Don’t rush it. Pushing things prematurely can create pseudo intimacy, and more illusions. Let things unfold naturally without pressure. If it’s the right thing, force doesn’t make it happen.
Pay attention to these guidelines, and you’ll have a much better time, whether you meet your “life partner” or not.
Good night and good luck,