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Persistence – Some Signs Indicating Whether It’s Working For Or Against You

30 Minute BTR Podcast 6/20 8:30 PM EST: “Are You Addicted to Your Cell Phone? Take the Test and Make Changes If Needed”


Don’t miss my next 30 minute BlogTalk Radio episode on Wednesday, June 20th at 8:30 PM EST:

“Are You Addicted to Your Cell Phone? Take the Test and Make Changes if Needed.”

(If you’re glued to your cell phone 24/7 then this episode is for you)!

Join me live with questions or comments by calling into the studio at 877-497-9046     Or stream the podcast at your convenience at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager


I hope you can join me for this information-packed episode!

It’s All About The Ball!

 
When it comes to how we live our lives, ask any dog, especially Tucker above, and they’ll show you that we’ve got our priorities all wrong – sideways, so to speak.
 
Tucker is my morning pal, the next door neighbor’s dog, and my big, handsome blonde Teacher of All Things, Big and Small. We run around and walk the trails behind my house every morning, Tucker attached like cement to his green ball. When I’m tired or cranky he reminds me that “it’s all about The Ball, get over it!” When it’s buggy or muggy or rainy like today, we both get bitten and soggy, but the Ball Game has to go on! A little rainfall won’t kill anyone. So what if there are some inconveniences?
 
Tucker has taught me not to make such a big deal of piles of snow, the early hour after a late night, muddy boots and trampled garden beds. He reminds me of the importance of promises, some predictability, and mostly the importance of being present in connection and having FUN in life. He helps me see that Quickbooks and emails can wait, calls can be returned later, but for a guy with only about 5 more years to live, the time is NOW for The Ball!
 
If you don’t have a Tucker in your life like I do, trust me that you’ll live longer and happier if you listen to and practice his “words” of wisdom: It’s all about The Ball!
 
If you’re on your own and need help getting your priorities straight, feel free to contact me – I’d be glad to help!
 
Susan Lager
603-431-7131

Giving Yourself Permission in 2018

Most of us are familiar with the “January Effect” – people armed with New Year’s resolutions to live cleaner: workout regularly, be more organized, eat more healthfully and lose weight, drink less, be more productive and waste less time, etc., etc. 

 Years ago when I belonged to Gold’s Gym we “regulars” would see swarms of well-intentioned people in January jamming up the machines, crowding the classes, full of optimism, only to almost entirely clear out by late February or March. The self-righteous eye rolls or chuckles among the “regulars” would be palpable. After observing it yearly I ultimately decided that this phenomenon might not be so much about laziness, lack of commitment or disorganization, but maybe more about a lack of permission – a lack of giving oneself permission to honor the need for down time, rest, hanging out, or sometimes people’s lack of permission to look at themselves with honesty about what’s really important to them. Had the resolutions to work out rigorously four times a week taken into account what was realistic in the context of people’s sleep habits, infrastructure to take that personal time, need for solitude or need for rest? Often not – coming to the gym frequently sounded good on paper, but had these people given themselves permission to look realistically at all these other factors that could undermine them? I think not.

I met with several couples in my practice after the holidays who talked with surprise and delight about having had a wonderful time with each other and with their kids during the holidays – for some, the first time in years! It wasn’t because they packed more activities in or were “good.” They didn’t go to every festival or capitalize on every possible day to ski or ice skate. They didn’t go to every party. They didn’t jump start their New Year’s resolutions. Instead they gave themselves permission to do less, to relax more, sleep more, hang out more, go offline, and not compete with their friends or neighbors to be the most social, or have the best holiday decorations, or the most elaborate rituals. They had given themselves permission to be honest with themselves about how much was enough, and how much might be too much. They tuned into themselves and their children rather than the hype around them, and it made all the difference in the world.

So, if as you read this you feel some apprehension about becoming a sloth if you practice tuning into your needs for rest and relaxation, take a deep breath and just try it for awhile. You may very well discover that when you legitimize downtime you won’t ultimately be less productive or social or happy. You may just discover a quieter, “slower” aspect of yourself, creating more peace of mind. You may even get to the gym with sufficient regularity after January!

How to Avoid Self-Sabotage This Holiday Season

 
How to Avoid Self Sabotage This Holiday Season
 
I was recently contacted by a fitness coach named Travis White who asked me to post this article on my site. I’m forwarding it to you because I think he gets to a lot of the important issues and behaviors around holiday health habits. See what you think.
You can find Travis at: [email protected]
 
Happy Holidays!
Susan
 
We often joke about overindulging during the holidays – setting back the scale 10 pounds and wearing pants with an elastic waist.  Psychology Today describes self-sabotage as behavior that “results from a misguided attempt to rescue ourselves from our own negative feelings.”  However, with understanding and good planning, the holidays can be an opportunity for self-care, health and happiness.
We hope these insights will help you set yourself up for success instead of sabotage this holiday season. 
 
  • Procrastinating
 
Do you bog yourself down with pointless, extraneous activities, creating delays instead of reaching a goal?  For people who do this, there is self-harm in the actions which exist in the space between deciding to do something and actually doing it.  Another version of procrastinating is to choose a “wait and see” attitude.  Some professionals recommend asking yourself what it is you are waiting for, and why?  Are you allowing others’ actions to determine whether you reach your goal, and why?
 
  • Unhealthy coping skills
 
Everyone can fall into the trap of choosing a coping mechanism that actually puts obstacles in their way.  Examples are things like self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, overspending when you are tight on money, or “comfort eating,” especially if you are overweight. 
 
  • Blocking your own path
 
Do you find yourself suddenly clumsier than usual?  Are you oversleeping when normally you rise with the sun?  Does your normally impeccable filter allow something inappropriate to slip out of your mouth and into the wrong ears?  Such behaviors can be evidence of self-sabotage.  As Huffington Post explains, “Because we like to think that we are completely in control of ourselves and are consciously making decisions, often it’s hard to recognize that these behaviors are driven by our unconscious mind.”
 
  • Healthy choices
 
If you see yourself in any of those descriptions, here are some tips to set yourself up for success and avoiding self-sabotage:
  • Take a moment.  Take time for mindful meditation.  Slow down, savor the moment, breathe deeply, and be fully aware of your state of being.
  • Journal.  Writing about what you are experiencing can produce tremendous insights.  It also offers you an opportunity to look back through your notes to discover patterns. Do you struggle at the same time every year?  Is there a trigger you can identify?
  • Volunteer.  The holiday season offers plenty of opportunities to do something for others, and it’ll boost your mood. 
  • Exercise.  Many of us fall short on maintaining a workout routine throughout the year, and this is especially true during the holidays.  This year can be different!
  • Move.  Don’t sit for extended periods of time.  Make a mental note to get up every half hour to hour, even if only for five minutes.  Commercial breaks during football games or your favorite holiday movies are a great opportunity to do a few squats or stroll around the house.
  • Plan.  US News and World Report notes that starting every day with a plan can help you stay on track.  Have an agenda in place for what you will eat and when you will exercise; even if you deviate, you will probably do better than without a set goal. 
  • Be flexible.  If you go into the holidays with an all-or-nothing mindset, the first bump you hit can derail you.  Instead, remain flexible and be creative in meeting your goals.  Maybe the whole family can take a brisk walk through the neighborhood before the trip to Grandma’s, or open the new year by throwing a ball around the yard.  Take opportunities for time together and fun! 
  • Convenience is key.  Don’t make being healthy an added stress.  Instead, consider the convenience and low-cost of setting up a home gym.  A few well-chosen pieces of equipment can put you on the path to fitness. 
 
Success, not sabotage
 
Do some soul searching to discover how you might be inhibiting your own self-care.  If you realize you are setting yourself up for sabotage, take steps toward success by making healthier choices.
 

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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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