We often joke about overindulging during the holidays – setting back the scale 10 pounds and wearing pants with an elastic waist. Psychology Today
describes self-sabotage as behavior that “results from a misguided attempt to rescue ourselves from our own negative feelings.” However, with understanding and good planning, the holidays can be an opportunity for self-care, health and happiness.
We hope these insights will help you set yourself up for success instead of sabotage this holiday season.
Do you bog yourself down with pointless, extraneous activities, creating delays instead of reaching a goal? For people who do this, there is self-harm in the actions which exist in the space between deciding to do something and actually doing it. Another version of procrastinating is to choose a “wait and see” attitude. Some professionals recommend asking yourself
what it is you are waiting for, and why? Are you allowing others’ actions to determine whether you reach your goal, and why?
Everyone can fall into the trap of choosing a coping mechanism that actually puts obstacles in their way. Examples are things like self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, overspending when you are tight on money, or “comfort eating,” especially if you are overweight.
Do you find yourself suddenly clumsier than usual? Are you oversleeping when normally you rise with the sun? Does your normally impeccable filter allow something inappropriate to slip out of your mouth and into the wrong ears? Such behaviors can be evidence of self-sabotage. As Huffington Post
explains, “Because we like to think that we are completely in control of ourselves and are consciously making decisions, often it’s hard to recognize that these behaviors are driven by our unconscious mind.”
If you see yourself in any of those descriptions, here are some tips to set yourself up for success and avoiding self-sabotage:
- Take a moment. Take time for mindful meditation. Slow down, savor the moment, breathe deeply, and be fully aware of your state of being.
- Journal. Writing about what you are experiencing can produce tremendous insights. It also offers you an opportunity to look back through your notes to discover patterns. Do you struggle at the same time every year? Is there a trigger you can identify?
- Volunteer. The holiday season offers plenty of opportunities to do something for others, and it’ll boost your mood.
- Exercise. Many of us fall short on maintaining a workout routine throughout the year, and this is especially true during the holidays. This year can be different!
- Move. Don’t sit for extended periods of time. Make a mental note to get up every half hour to hour, even if only for five minutes. Commercial breaks during football games or your favorite holiday movies are a great opportunity to do a few squats or stroll around the house.
- Plan. US News and World Report notes that starting every day with a plan can help you stay on track. Have an agenda in place for what you will eat and when you will exercise; even if you deviate, you will probably do better than without a set goal.
- Be flexible. If you go into the holidays with an all-or-nothing mindset, the first bump you hit can derail you. Instead, remain flexible and be creative in meeting your goals. Maybe the whole family can take a brisk walk through the neighborhood before the trip to Grandma’s, or open the new year by throwing a ball around the yard. Take opportunities for time together and fun!
- Convenience is key. Don’t make being healthy an added stress. Instead, consider the convenience and low-cost of setting up a home gym. A few well-chosen pieces of equipment can put you on the path to fitness.
Success, not sabotage
Do some soul searching to discover how you might be inhibiting your own self-care. If you realize you are setting yourself up for sabotage, take steps toward success by making healthier choices.