Understanding Women– Be Curious!!!!

Good Evening Reader,

I was on a supermarket line and happened to overhear two jocks complaining about how they were always clueless about what went on in their girlfriends’ brains, that females must be an alien species, and that trying to understand them was futile! It took all my self control to not put in my professional 2¢, so I forced myself to be quiet, but loudly had these thoughts:
1. It’s not rocket science to understand women, it just takes some study.
2. Don’t presume you know what your lady wants/needs. ASK!!
3. Stop going to the default position of Rescue and Fix. It’s well intended, but is
often misplaced.

4. Be curious, ask questions, show interest in her heart and her mind.
5. If she’s unclear about something, listen deeply for the encoded message by observing her
body language and her tone.

It may take time, guys, be patient and respectful, and it will become clear sooner or later.

Good night, and Good luck!

P.S. I will be offering more detailed information about this subject on my upcoming website at

P.S.S. Check out my recently published article about relationship dilemnas at:

“How Do I Get My Partner Back?” A Therapist’s Reflection on the Question, and the Road Through Grief

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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