Mothers and Self Nurture

Happy Mother’s Day!

This was an odd but very satisfying day for me. My son was around only briefly for a speedwalk and then a lovely breakfast he cooked for me. My husband had to work today, so he didn’t get home till much later for  our little party. They were both apologetic about not being available longer, and felt a bit sorry for me having to entertain myself on Mother’s Day. But, truth be told, after I got over my preconceived notions about the day, (which we all do far too often!) I had a grand old time “dubbing around” as I call it.  I cut flowers from the garden and filled all the vases,  I baked a banana bread,  I retrieved summer clothing from the attic, did my nails, took a hot tub, did some reading, folded laundry, sorted mail, and petted the cat. Nothing glamorous, just various things which provided contentment, a sense of accomplishment, and soothing pleasure. In the therapy business we call it Self Nurture. Women, and mothers especially aren’t too swift at it because they are enculturated to nurture everybody else first.
I, however, have become the Queen of Self Nurture partly because I preach it as a vital practice, but also because my therapeutic work could drain me if I didn’t. If you lack ideas for how to do it get Alice Domar’s book “Self-Nurture”. She illustrates all the psychological and physiological benefits of doing it regularly. My advice is, whatever you do to nurture yourself, DON’T do anything which feels like drudgery!


Susan Lager

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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