Good Evening, Reader,
Over the long weekend I was thinking about something Patricia Drain, one of my business coaches, said to me very matter of factly last week as she marveled at my progress transitioning into this world of internet coaching and writing: “You made a decision, Susan! That was the turning point.” I had long considered the possibility of leaving the familiar haven of my beloved, full-time psychotherapy work, to add writing, public speaking, and training programs to my professional life. After much ruminating and ambivalence, I finally made the decision. I would continue to work with a select group of individuals and couples in psychotherapy, but also work with a larger client base using a coaching frame. Since then, I have been passionately immersed in this change, in what Tracy Repchuk, an internet Guru, calls “massive action”– nonstop total commitment to one’s goal. In Change Theory there’s alot said about the proper use of resources and tools, but that has to be built upon the earlier stage of Contemplation, resolution of any ambivalence about the change, and MAKING A DECISION. This is apparent frequently in couples therapy– “tools” are moot until partners make a decision about where to put their energy– more of the same, making it better, or getting out. Then the work becomes the lining up of actions with the goal, establishing markers of progress and motivational aids to stay on course. So if you feel frustration about some change you’ve supposedly wanted for awhile, and it’s going nowhere fast, ask yourself, “Have I made a decision yet?”
P.S. In July watch for my new website HowToBeABetterCouple.com with surveys, special reports, articles, and monthly membership benefits!