How To Be a Closer Couple

Hello Reader,

It’s been a long, beautiful weekend, and I’m reminded in Spring of a lovely ritual my husband Thom and  I engage in during the warm weather. It always brings us closer together, and I routinely recommend it to my clients who live outside cities, especially those couples who want to create more sharing without the labor of words all the time. Here it is:
Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning, grab a big cup of coffee, each of you, and head outside for your yard or your land. If you start this routine early in the Spring, notice all the new growth and shoots as you both walk around, and take pleasure in the miracle of nature. Smell the earth at last, notice all the green, and look for all the buds you can find. If you have done any landscaping or yard work together, take some time to enjoy the fruit of your labor as you note the garden beds coming alive again. Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT start weeding or hauling brush! That’s work, and this is about a few minutes of shared joy in the world you’ve created, so don’t get compulsively busy! Exchange some ideas about how you both want to improve and expand upon your garden in the coming months, even if you only want to plant a few flowers or a tomatoe bush. Imagine the lovely experiences you’ll have with eachother, friends and family in the coming season, and enjoy the anticipation of shared pleasure. Now, say goodbye as you each go off to your work with a thirty second hug to further increase the “feel-good” chemicals in your brains, and know that the day will be a touch softer because of the small intimacy in the morning. (Repeat as often as you can until the snow flies, or it’s too freezing to hang around outside).


Susan Lager
P.S.  Check out my latest published articles about relationship issues at:
Also stay tuned for my upcoming website where you will find an array of
products and services for partnership problem-solving and enrichment!

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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2 Responses to How To Be a Closer Couple

  1. Susan Lager, Closer Couples Pro says:

    Dear Ms. Rivchun,
    Relationships take daily work (read my latest blog Building a Relationship), contrary to the lies of Hollywood and Hallmark. If it's good teamwork it will always expand and improve and Romance will continue to unfold in unexpected ways, even if you're together 100 years.

  2. laura_rivchun says:

    Dear Susan Lager,

    I have read your articles in Ezine and your daily blogs most recently and find your comments and advice on couple's issues very insightful, heartfelt and funny.

    As part of a working couple "in progress", I see how important it is to constantly be evolving and learning about my partner. I never realized that being in a relationship takes so much work. I always thought that everything would just fall in to place and I would be swept off my feet and carried off into the sunset.

    Is it unrealistic to still hope for romance in a long term relationship?

    Any thoughts?


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