For the past several weeks I’ve worked with psychotherapy and coaching clients who make lots of presumptions about the people they love. Friends decide that they must be a giant burden to their inner circle because they need more love and support now. Spouses decide that they can’t possibly bring up certain subjects to their partners. Parents decide their kids will hate them if they set particular limits.
I think it’s understandable to make some of these “pre-judgments” based on past experiences with people.
But it’s important to “reality check” it regularly. More often than not, people you love may surprise you!
A husband may listen with curiosity. A friend may be grateful for the opportunity to help. A kid may feel some relief that there is some structure in their world. So pay attention to the “givens” inside your head– they may not be accurate at times, and you may shortchange the loved ones in your life by setting low expectations of your relationship with them!
Now, I’m heading into another week with a different kind of presumption– that it will snow once again, as predicted, midweek, and wreak havoc on everyone’s carefully made plans for work here in the Northeast .
A presumption? Or a fact of life for the winter of 2011?
Good night and good luck,
PS. (18 to 24 inches…..)
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