Unbelievably, we’ve already arrived at the last week before Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. Here in New Hampshire, parents are sending their kids off to school this week! Mercifully, in Maine, where I live, nobody goes back to school until after Labor Day, but even then, everyone groans about letting go of the long, langorous days of summer. (Except parents who are sick of their kids).
I’ve had a terrific summer with boating, hiking (light), swimming in the ocean and lakes, barbecues, reading, friends, family, and some wonderful long weekends away at lovely new places. I’ve also taken somewhat of a break from the internet to be outside more, doing active things. So, I can’t complain about it all coming to an end soon, as we in New England enter the Arctic Freeze Winter for the next seven or so months.
If you’re feeling blue about the transition, I’d encourage you to think of it this way: Would summer be as special to you if it were all year round? If you think “Yes!” then you should move to Florida or the Carribbean! If you thought “No way!” then savor what you’ve experienced this past summer. If you didn’t experience much, then begin making a list of the things you will commit to doing next summer, so you don’t continue the “regret cycle.” (You might also need some new friends who get you out more).
Another thing you can do is to anticipate all the delightful things about the Fall and Winter. Look forward to more “tuck in” time with more opportunities for indoor activities and more reflection. Won’t it be nice to not feel pressure to be outside so much doing fabulous things? If you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression related to lower levels of light), do the therapeutic “light therapy.” Anticipate the beauty of the changed color palette outdoors with all the invigorating things you can do outside if you’re dressed properly. Look forward to Fall and Winter rituals and holidays. And of course, you can also look forward to next summer. It will be here before you know it….
Tune in at 8:30 PM EDT for this half hour episode about the key attitudes for having a fun summer with or without a partner. I’ll also be sharing my big list of ideas for joyful, connective, or just creative things to do to capitalize on the season, with or without good weather.
Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 to just listen in, or to join me on the air with ideas of your own. Hope you can be with me for this light but hopefully informative show!
Don’t miss my next BTR episode, “Open Communication” tonight at 8:30 PM EST! It’s a short, half hour show all about key pointers to foster closer conversations leading to more understanding between partners.
Open communication is partly about timing and the subject matter, but more importantly, about the use of language. Tune into this show and learn some vital tips in this area.
Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 to just listen or to join me on the air with questions or comments. Hope you can make it!
I have recently come out of my annual tax trance – the time of year when I’m so immersed in columns of figures and tabulations that a meteor could hit the house and I’d barely notice it. Luckily, my impression is that this oblivious state seems to abate in mid March when I return to my usual therapist’s occupational hazard of incessantly questioning and noticing things.
I like to think that I’m generally pretty committed to a process of self-examination, particularly in my relationships. It’s a daily practice, though, to do this, kind of like working out or maintaining good sleep habits. Like sobriety, it’s easy to fall off the wagon and go back into a behavioral and attitudinal trance at any point, so I’ll share a few of the 20 key questions I’ve devised that you can reflect upon in order to be more awake in your relationships:
- What am I most insecure about?
- What defenses do I use to protect myself emotionally?
- How might these defenses be hurtful to others?
- Are there other, more benign defenses I could use?
- Do I apologize when I’ve been out of line? If so, how?
- Do I self-medicate with substances? If so, how, when, and with whom?
- What would happen if I were more open?
If you start with these questions, and are honest with yourself about what you see, I think you’ll open up a process of taking more responsibility for yourself, and move toward being more awake in your relationships. For more details about the other 13 key “consciousness questions,” as well as a wealth of information about how to thrive in all your partnerships, grab a copy of my new workbook, “Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy” available in paperback, and now also as an eBook on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/12ALenB
I know you’ll enjoy it!
(If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the last few weeks, I’ve been shoveling.) Only, kidding, that’s just been the scene for the last few hours, getting ready for yet another snow storm, so the new ten inches doesn’t collapse the deck with the 6 inch ice base underneath. Ah, New England……..
Now that all your presents are unwrapped, (and hopefully, already paid for), the guests have gone home, (or if they’re leaving from New England, they are TRYING to go home amidst this second post Christmas blizzard), the leftovers are in the fridge, (hopefully you have leftovers, and didn’t eat it ALL), you’re filled with more good memories, (hopefully it wasn’t a nightmare holiday), and you too, are looking forward to the New Year, with new chances to do better, or to just do some new, adventurous things.
As for me, I’m about to publish my second workbook called, “Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy.” It’s all about how to do better in all your key relationships. It’s been quite a haul getting it done, but I think you’ll love it as I do, and benefit tremendously from the tools and insights I’ve provided in the book. You’ll be able to buy it on Amazon in late January 2013!
So, what’s the point? Try new things in the new year, or you’ll get stale and rusted! What’s the worst that could happen? Failure? Mistakes? So what? Unless we get hit by a truck, there are usually more chances to do whatever it is better, or to let it go. Mistakes, as I say, are “valuable information potentially used for new learning”. Here’s to courage! Here’s to mistakes!
Gotta go help with more shoveling. The snow has arrived, and the Snowblower Guy, my husband, probably could use the moral support.