Couplespeak™ Blog

Midnight Madness Meditation

I could never sit “Indian Style,” so when I spent two weeks in Girl Scout camp at age nine I felt like a total failure next to all the other little scouts sitting like perfect Yogis around the campfire, inhaling their gooey Smores. Imagine my later dismay whenever I attended a cozy, casual group event, or God forbid, a Yoga class and attempted to achieve a Namaste frame of mind in lotus position! So, sadly to say, my attempts at “regular” meditation haven’t been stellar with the posture all convoluted. I also sit in my work as a psychotherapist more than most elders do when they’re confined to wheelchairs, so more sitting as a form of meditative practice is generally out.

I relax and even meditate through movement, often focusing on my breath and gait during speed walks, no matter where I am. But the real deal happens when everything is quiet and shut down, my cat and husband are asleep, the horrible news is off, my laptop has been put to bed, the dishwasher is humming, and I’m in the zone making popsicles. I am the newest member of a bizarre club of mostly young Moms who need some peace and quiet, and find it late at night, concocting all sorts of decadent popsicles, then posting them on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook. I call them the Midnight Madness Poppers, and I guess I’m one of them, invited, young and tired, Pinterest addicted – or not.  I’ve decided that even though nobody has nominated me yet, that I have an even more exclusive membership in this club, because anyone can invent delicious pops loaded with gobs of sugar, but mine are healthy, untainted by that sweet poison.

I’ve also decided that most anyone can sit in perfect Lotus position, still and silent, noting their breath and invasive thoughts as a path to enlightenment. How many people can go into a total meditative trance at midnight whipping up things with names like “Banana Maple Coconut Rum Pecan” or “Russian Cappucino Walnut Kahlua Chip”?  Huh?

“Living with Loss – A Conversation with Ashley Davis Bush” BlogTalk Radio Show on Monday, 1/18/16 7 PM EST

Tune into my next 45 minute BlogTalk Radio episode “Living with Loss – A Conversation with Ashley Davis Bush” on Monday, January 18th at 7 PM. Ashley and I will discuss the process of grieving – the realities and the myths, as well as tools for coping, from her latest book, “Hope and Healing for Transcending Loss.” 

When we lose someone, it’s easy to feel unmoored. We have to find a new rhythm to our days and new ways to connect to the ones we’ve lost. Ashley Davis Bush offers just that.

Ashley’s book is filled with small lifelines and glimpses of hope for coping with the death of a loved one. Included are daily meditations offering comfort and tools for how to move on, living with gratitude, compassion and meaning. In this BlogTalk Radio episode Ashley will share key points from this latest goldmine of a book.

Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, is the internationally bestselling author of six self-help books, including the classic “Transcending Loss.” She is a compelling and wise presenter, having appeared on many television and radio shows.

Call 877-497-9046 on Monday, January 18th at 7PM EST to listen, make comments or ask questions. You’ll be glad you did!

Retail Meditation

I’ve often teased my husband about how he goes into his “happy place” when he’s fishing, especially from his kayak. He slips into a total trance, paddling softly, examining the shallow water for fish and lures other people have left behind. I could be drowning in the next kayak, or there could be a nuclear holocaust and he’d be completely immersed in a Zen meditative state. (I think he’s in good company with half the planet in this way.)

Well, I’ve noticed something similar about myself and what I think may be true for millions of women: when I’m on a shopping mission searching for a specific item, I’m either in a store or online, totally immersed in the experience, focused and calm, in much the same way as when I play my guitar, maneuver my kayak, ski or garden. I used to think of the shopping as being too material, but I now realize that it’s a form of meditation – retail meditation! Whenever I’m in a store I observe something similar seeming to happen for mostly other women – they sail around with their carts, looking for this or that, with contented smiles on their faces, calm and centered, in what looks like a perfect state of “flow.” I don’t know if they’re on drugs or engaged in compulsive shopping, but they sure seem to be present in the moment!

So, if you engage in the same behavior, and you’re not overspending or avoiding some other responsibility, try not to let your inner critic define the experience as shallow. You may instead be honoring a biologically wired “gathering” instinct and doing a moving meditation. If it centers and calms you, it may be just what you need at that time!

Susan Lager

PS. If you need more help with silencing your judgmental inner critic, feel free to call me for an appointment: 603-431-7131

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About
Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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