Couplespeak™ Blog

Low Sex Drive in Women – What You Need to Know if You’re Over 40

REMINDER!  Countdown to my next BlogTalk Radio episode on 4/22/15 8:30 PM EDT.  Don’t miss this 45 minute episode if you’re over 40 and couldn’t care less if you ever have sex again. Don’t miss this episode if your husband is pressuring you to take some initiative sexually, and you feel resentful, tired, or blasé.

Find out the myths and the truths about a common issue nobody wants to talk about. Join me and my co-host, Dr. Terri Vanderlinde, an OB- GYN in private practice in Dover, NH.  Get out of the dark with some needed information and some TOOLS!

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join us live on the air to just listen or to share your questions or comments. If you can’t make the live show catch the recording at:

“Low Sex Drive in Women – What You Need to Know if You’re Over 40”: next BlogTalk Radio episode 4/22/15 8:30 PM EDT

Are you a woman over forty with a few noisy kids, a demanding job, a messy house, and an even more sexually demanding husband? Is sex the last thing you’re interested in at the end of another commotion-filled day? Is your husband wondering why you no longer find him irresistible – or thinking maybe you have a lover? Is he cranky, frustrated and feeling rejected? Do you feel more dread and pressure at “bedtime”?

If any of this sounds familiar, realize you’re not alone, and don’t miss my next 45 minute BlogTalk Radio episode about this very common problem! I’ll be co-hosting with Dr. Terri Vanderlinde, a board certified OB-GYN in private practice in Dover, NH.  She deals with this issue often in her work with women and their partners, so she’s a wealth of information about “low libido” in midlife, what it is and isn’t, and what can be done to deal with it.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join us live on the air with questions or comments. If you can’t make the live show, catch the recording at anytime at your convenience. You (and your husband or partner) will be very glad you did!


PS. If you and a spouse or partner are wrestling with this issue and want some professional help, feel free to call me for an appointment at 603-431-7131

Couples Therapy In Portsmouth, NH: Addressing Disconnection In Marriage

If there’s one central problem I deal with most frequently in my work as a couples therapist, I’d say it’s disconnection in marriage. It can happen through over- involvement with children, work, hobbies, family or hyper focus on self. It’s a defensive posture, masking some internal fears. Left unexplored, it can ruin a marriage.

Often, the stage is set early in life as spouses adopt certain attachment stances in relation to early nurturing or lack of it. *(See my “resources” page at and take the Adult Attachment Style Survey to find out about your own leanings toward healthy connection or disconnection – you may be surprised!)

Significant research findings indicate that spouses who spend more time together are generally much happier in their marriages than those who don’t.

If you’ve lost touch with your spouse, it’s time to register for a couples’ retreat, to revisit or re-learn the behaviors which helped you to bond when you were courting, and to become more conscious of the defensive behaviors the two of you have adopted over the years.

Meredith Richardson, a talented mediator, collaborative lawyer, and conflict coach and I will be presenting a couples’ retreat May 16-18 at the Victoria Inn in Hampton, NH.  It’s a charming bed and breakfast on the seacoast which we plan to have all for ourselves for the weekend, so there will be ample privacy as well as space to do this important work.

You could also join us for a Couples Retreat on beautiful Star Island, off the coast of Maine and NH, from June 21-25. It’s another ideal setting for reflection and learning.

For more information, or to register, contact me at: 603-431-7131

or call Meredith at: 207-439-4267.

Space is limited, so don’t wait too long – your marriage calls!


Valentine’s Day is Over. Now Build Lasting Love!

How’s this for a unique couples retreat?

Hopefully, those of you in committed relationships had a lovely Valentine’s Day, filled with sweets and loving exchanges with your special someone.

But now that the one day marking affection and love has gone by, it’s time to really dig in and explore all the daily ways you and your partner show and tell love for each other. This inevitably involves developing effective ways to manage conflict, when the rose-colored glasses come off, as you become a more seasoned couple.

Join the dynamic mediator and conflict coach Meredith Richardson, and me for a special Couples Retreat at the lovely Victoria Inn for an experiential weekend designed to build better connection, communication and reduced conflict.

We’ll have this cozy inn all to ourselves for this special event, Friday, May 16th through Sunday morning, May 18th, 2014.

For more information about registering: Call Meredith Richardson 207-439-4267 or email:

Connect With Your Partner

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably spent the last few weeks running around getting and wrapping gifts, sending cards, preparing for parties, dolling up your house with holiday decorations, cooking, baking, returning “off” gifts, cleaning up the mess, etc. You’ve also probably been in more public, social situations than you normally are in, attending to friends and family. As a result, how much time and energy have you reserved for your partner? Any hugs? Kisses? Words of appreciation? Any special private moments? If the answer is a humble, “Not really,” then here’s a little exercise which costs nothing, takes no time, and can stimulate re-connection:

When you’re separated from your partner in a social situation like a party or some event, make eye contact with him or her and discretely tug on your earlobe. When you’re in a crowd, this little private gesture can signal to your partner that you’re thinking of him/her, and love him/her. It’s an intimate non-verbal communication affirming your connection with each other, especially when your relationship seems to be taking back seat to the needs of other people. Try it – you’ll be amazed at the energy surge you create between you two!

If you find yourself generally wishing for better communication, deeper connection and less conflict in your relationship, and could use an intense dose of fun help with this, then join mediator and conflict coach, Meredith Richardson, and me for a weekend retreat designed to improve your communication skills, and re-connect you with each other. January 18-20, 2014 at the Inn at Bath, Bath, Maine. An intimate experience for six couples only.

*Deadline for registration is Wednesday, January 1st.

For more information or to register, CALL: 207-439-4267


Blog Talk Radio Host

Get My Free Original Articles

  • - Communication
  • - Resolving Conflict
  • - Intimacy
  • - Relationship Tools

Contact Me

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

Connect With Me

Find My Office

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.