“Cheap Forgiveness” Podcast Wednesday, 11/8/17 8:30 PM EST

In this 15 minute episode I’ll share my insights and experiences with the issue of cheap forgiveness – what it is, and how and when it may be adaptive as the best possible “solution” to emotional injury, vs. what the costs may be to the person bestowing it and to the relationship. I’ll give a mini “life lesson” on the larger issue of forgiveness and what the options may be when an offender isn’t repentant or available to a process of true repair around an emotional injury.

To join the episode live call 877-497-9046 to come on the air with your questions, comments or story.  If you can’t make the live podcast you can listen to the recording afterward anytime at:  

However you tune in, don’t miss this important episode!

“Marital Peace After An Affair” – BlogTalk Radio Show Wed. 7/27/16 8:30 PM EDT

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In this thirty minute episode I’ll co-host with Dr. Laura Louis, author of the popular book, “Marital Peace,” which is a valuable resource for supporting couples throughout the challenges of marriage.

Dr. Louis has specialized in helping distant couples heal after infidelity, and in the program discusses some of the ways she recommends rebuilding trust, rekindling intimacy and enhancing communication. Her therapeutic approach has been influenced through trainings in Brazil, Mexico, London and Haiti, as well as hundreds of transformative seminars all over the world.

Don’t miss this vital program if you and your spouse have endured or feel at risk for an affair! Learn some key tools to not only help avoid infidelity, but to restore trust, build forgiveness, and promote growth after an affair. You too can achieve marital peace after this traumatic development.

Call in live with questions or comments at 877-497-9046.

If you can’t make the live show you can listen to the podcast afterward at:

One way or another, I hope you can join us!

“The Art of a Good Apology” – BlogTalk Radio show Wed., 3/25/15 8:30 PM EDT

Do you say you’re sorry when you’ve behaved badly? If you do, do you apologize well?  If you’re not sure and you’d like to learn something about how to apologize in a heartfelt way which has a healing effect on the other person, then you won’t want to miss my next half hour BlogTalk Radio episode tomorrow night!

We all do or say things at times which call for an apology when we feel we’ve hurt someone. Knowing how to apologize in a way which creates healing and meaningful repair requires an understanding of the importance of timing, as well as the key elements of an effective apology. This is what you’ll learn by tuning into this episode.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join me live on the air with questions or comments. If you prefer, you can catch the episode live streaming, or you can listen to the recording afterward by going to:

I hope you can join me!

“Move On Without An Apology – A Couplespeak™ Tool To Heal Your Heart” 2/5/14 BlogTalk Radio Episode 8 PM EST

If you’ve ever been emotionally hurt by someone who didn’t do anything significant to earn your forgiveness, then this show is for you. When there has been no expressed remorse or apology you don’t have to be enslaved by bitterness. Nor do you need to bestow “cheap forgiveness” upon that person, letting them off the hook, and dishonoring yourself!

Tune into this half hour episode to learn about how to move on and heal without the benefit of a genuine apology. I’ll talk about a proven tool you can use for a healing journey.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to listen in, or to join me live on the air with questions or comments. I’d love for you to be there and have a conversation. Wednesday, February 5th 8 PM EST.

If you can’t make the live show, go to The Couplespeak Relationship Forum to catch the recording whenever it’s convenient for you.

Susan Lager

Saying You’re Sorry

Hello Reader,

Watching the news today I couldn’t help but shake my head and my finger, (I won’t say which one) at B.P.’s CEO Tony Hayward. I’m just one of millions of people outraged by his callous greed and  reckless decisions made before and after the oil spill. But the thing that really got to me was the way he said he “was sorry”! Sitting in front of the energy committee hearing, he had the gall to express “regret” for the loss of life and the hardship caused to the families and people in the area, then, when questioned, he in effect said he had nothing to do with the whole fiasco, and didn’t know much about many of the fateful decisions made! The net effect was to generate more rage and outrage in the hearing, and all over the networks. The lesson? When you supposedly apologize for something, you need to SAY YOU’RE SORRY by doing the following:

1. Take responsibility for your behavior, using “I” statements, i.e. what you DID to cause harm.

2. After you go into the details of the situation and your role in it, express remorse and regret.

3. Acknowledge your understanding of the harm done to the other, the hurtful impact.

4. Ask for forgiveness, and acknowledge to the victim that they may or may not grant it.

5. Commit to some form of repentance, some corrective behavior to avoid repeated harm.

What Hayward did instead was what I see in couples work all too often: “I’m SORRY! (Get over it!)”

(Maybe watching CNN isn’t the best way to start the day)………………

Susan Lager

P.S. Check out my latest published articles about relationship issues at:

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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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