Back from the Wild Blue Yonder!

Well, it’s been more than a month since I checked in here, and it’s not because I’ve lost my interest in you, gentle reader! No, I’ve been preparing for and going through one of the most intense milestones a parent can experience – the wedding of our son, Alec to Erin, the woman he loves (and we love) intensely. What an experience!

If you don’t have children or haven’t yet “married one off,” it’s hard to imagine the buildup of momentum to the “big day.” The outfits, the company, getting the house ready for a week of festivities before and after, the food preparation, the rehearsal dinner, the groomsmen getting dressed and being photographed beforehand, the ceremony, the reception, the pictures, the reviewing of all the events, and then a son who has chosen his mate for life and has gone off to an exotic honeymoon in Madeira. And now, the sweet memories of all those events and the reality of an officially “empty nest”!

This is one of the major milestones in life, not only for a “child,” but certainly for the parents on both sides. It forces you to reflect on your years as a parent, how well you did, individually and together as a couple. It also gives you an opportunity to think about how having this child changed your lives. In our case, I tell people that our life went from color to technicolor, and that having a child can be the most joyful, enriching experience ever! (Plenty of stress, and not cheap, but very joyful)….

This milestone also forces you to accept the “letting go,” recognizing that your child has chosen a mate, and will be creating a new family of their own. It’s bittersweet. You can’t have any illusions about having much control of your child’s choices and destiny. For me, that one is a challenge, as I like to think I’m the leader.

And finally, this transition shifts your focus onto the next chapter of your life as a couple. What are your goals and your dreams? What have you been detoured from because of the all-inclusive task of parenting? What now?

So here I am, back to my regular, everyday life, full of wonderful memories and big dreams…

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Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with skills and tools to transform your life.

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