Quality Time For Couples

Hello Reader,

What do Hullavators, J-Bars, Slide and Set Saddles, new bathing suits, trailer balls, hitches, Thermos coolers, Porta-Potties, ice cream cones, picnic lunches, juicy novels, and sunsets have in common?
You guessed it! Summertime fun in the sun on a favorite lake, with not only kayaks, but now with our little cruising motorboat! This is the sequel to “Father’s Day Celebration With Determination”: what started as a gift to the Husband and Father of quality family time for the day, now unfolds into carving out regular quality time as a couple — no cellphones, no laptops, no “homework”, no dishes, no bills, no laundry, no distractions from the shear pleasure of precious time together. It never comes easily or automatically, it requires planning, creativity, collaboration, commitment, and a capacity for joy. If you value it in your relationship, the returns will be immense. (Keep in mind that if you create experiences which involve some novelty, something out of your ordinary routine, you will be ramping up supplies of dopamine and norepinephrine, the “pleasure” chemicals in your brain associated with romantic love!)  So your house will be a bit messier, and your voicemail will be full, but no one will get killed if you create wonderful memories together. It’s the “glue” in intimate partnerships, and most of us preserve too little time for quality time together. So start dreaming and together planning some experiences this summer, away from the stressors and routines of your everyday life. Think of all the money you’ll save on marriage counseling down the road!


Susan Lager
P.S.  Look for my latest published articles about couple’s issues at:

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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