Over-thinking

Hello Reader,

     I’ve been thinking a lot lately about over-thinking. People like me, who are a bit perfectionistic and a bit obcessive, are often guilty of it.  In my case, I was set up for it by a family that made a production out of EVERYTHING from the contents of a dinner, to a day at the beach. If we went for an ice cream cone at Carvel, it wasn’t a simple impulsive trip to the place three miles away, but a carefully constructed evening ride up the Taconic Parkway to the Carvel sixty miles north, complete with blankets and car games for the outing.
Over-thinking was reframed as creativity, diligence, thoroughness and spirit. Everything we did was elaborately planned, and for the most part we had great fun in the process!
Fast forward to the present. For the last twenty, (yes 20!) years I’ve been thinking about hiring a billing service for my psychotherapy practice. The billing is the least favorite and most incompetent thing I’ve always done, struggling to keep up with the sheer volume of it daily. I’m often apologetic about it to clients, or make jokes about my ineptness in that department. I rarely feel self-doubt about the therapeutic work itself, just the damn billing! I’ve mulled over the notion of relinquishing the control, the work involved in transferring the information to a service, the time it would take me, the cost, etc. This is what over-thinking looks like when it’s counterproductive, not artistic! So I’ve finally decided to let go of this last vestige of self-apology, and this exercise in over-thinking– I’m hiring a billing service! And what’s the point of announcing this, you ask? To follow the Nike logo: JUST DO IT!!!!  Before getting caught in a spin of all the “how-to” details, I will follow my own therapeutic advice and take one small step each day, breaking the task down into teeny weeny steps, and NOT think about it!
So if you too have an overactive brain that makes a production out of things, do four things to free yourself from the obcessive spin:
1.  Ask yourself if your over-thinking an issue serves some larger creative, safety, or fun purpose, or not.
2.  If not, decide what a reasonable person would do for action, without further ado.
3.  Break the task or dilemma down into bite-size pieces, day by day, and ignore your thoughts.
4.  Build in time to “review” progress at intervals, not daily– (that leads to more over-thinking.)
Then sit back and enjoy the completion without all the internal “noise”.
Oh, and one more thought…………………………

Goodnight!
Susan Lager
PS. Tune in to the next episode of my BlogTalk Radio show on Wednesday, February 9th at 9:30PM.
       It’s called “Uncover The Truth – Hire A Private Investigator”.  My guest will be Frank Santin, a
       well known Private I. who has lots to say about this subject. It should be fun!
       Call toll free: 877-497-9046

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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