Cozy Rituals

 

It’s 8:55 on a frigid Sunday morning, and I awoke to a blazing fire in the family room thoughtfully prepared by my devoted “woodsman” husband, Thom. What a way to begin a 35 degree day in November!
It made me think about all the cozy rituals my family embraces, and how centering and comforting they are. I’ll often ask therapy and coaching clients who are facing difficult circumstances if they have a repertoire of cozy comfort activities in their emotional “toolboxes.”
I’m often surprised by the scarcity they report, or by the lack of awareness people have about what comforts them besides booze or meds!
If you haven’t developed an elaborate system of ways to get cozy and give yourself comfort, then it’s time to build it before you need it. Think about activities you could ritualize, like a weekend fire, or a cup of tea in the afternoon, or a bath on a Friday night. Consider this list as your arsenal of protection against overwhelming anxiety, sadness, exhaustion or loneliness. It’s your personal (and partnered) treasure trove of self-care and self-soothing. You can do it alone or with your partner or family. Whatever the case, having benign ways to “get cozy” will help you decrease your trips to the doctor, the liquor store, and expensive shrinks, like me!

Happy day,

Susan Lager

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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