I have recently come out of my annual tax trance – the time of year when I’m so immersed in columns of figures and tabulations that a meteor could hit the house and I’d barely notice it. Luckily, my impression is that this oblivious state seems to abate in mid March when I return to my usual therapist’s occupational hazard of incessantly questioning and noticing things.
I like to think that I’m generally pretty committed to a process of self-examination, particularly in my relationships. It’s a daily practice, though, to do this, kind of like working out or maintaining good sleep habits. Like sobriety, it’s easy to fall off the wagon and go back into a behavioral and attitudinal trance at any point, so I’ll share a few of the 20 key questions I’ve devised that you can reflect upon in order to be more awake in your relationships:
- What am I most insecure about?
- What defenses do I use to protect myself emotionally?
- How might these defenses be hurtful to others?
- Are there other, more benign defenses I could use?
- Do I apologize when I’ve been out of line? If so, how?
- Do I self-medicate with substances? If so, how, when, and with whom?
- What would happen if I were more open?
I know you’ll enjoy it!