We have a simple but wise saying in the psychotherapy world: “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable!”It’s so true, especially in intimate partnerships. So often I see couples “sitting on” giant resentments, presumptions, hurts, misconceptions, and bewilderment that could probably be worked out if there’s a value to each in the relationship. Haven’t most of us stayed silent at times, fearing the consequences, only to find out that the “bogeyman” was in our own head?
I have three wishes for my Relationship Genie:
1. That partners would generally give each other more credit for having the potential for a reasonable response to each other’s concerns, and make presumptions of “good will”.
2. That people would more often value their own experience, not discount it, and be willing to stand up for themselves by speaking up.
3. That we’d all legitimize the fact of “alternate realities” around situations, be more curious about each other’s experience, (getting away from “right” or “wrong”), and practice the fine art of listening better.
(That’s sort of three and a half, but hey, the Genie has magical powers, so why stop at three?)Good night and good luck!
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