(Well, the lying-down position of this image you may be getting tells it all). Sometimes, despite your best efforts and highest expectations things just don’t turn out the way you’d hoped they would. In this case, I (once again), unwittingly took the shot sideways in the middle of aiming, and couldn’t get it to stand up straight afterward on my computer. It came out right side up for my husband on his laptop. Who knows what you’ll get…
(Am I the only one using an iPhone who does this with some frequency, or are there other directionally impaired picture-takers out there)???
The real subject of this post ironically, had to do with the the non-fit between the weather and the activity. Every Autumn I look so forward to cozy rituals with family and friends, like apple picking amidst the crisp air and gorgeous New England foliage. I DON’T look forward to roaming the orchards in humid 74 degrees with almost no foliage display in mid October. (Nor did my husband, wearing his lovely new flannel shirt!)
But here’s the point: Expectation, as per Buddhist teaching, can really set us up for problems. You want a rose, but get a marigold, then feel dejected, as though it wasn’t still a lovely flower! You want the whole New England leaf-peeping experience, then feel cheated when the temperature and foliage is more like an August day. Yet, you still get the apples and a day in the country with your loved one(s). So, I recommend that you learn to go with the flow, whether it’s a sideways photo or an apple picking event, take it for what it’s worth, have a good laugh, and enjoy being alive! (As my sister Marge says, “It’s certainly better than the alternative.”)………..
In this thirty minute episode I’ll co-host with Dr. Laura Louis, author of the popular book, “Marital Peace,” which is a valuable resource for supporting couples throughout the challenges of marriage.
Dr. Louis has specialized in helping distant couples heal after infidelity, and in the program discusses some of the ways she recommends rebuilding trust, rekindling intimacy and enhancing communication. Her therapeutic approach has been influenced through trainings in Brazil, Mexico, London and Haiti, as well as hundreds of transformative seminars all over the world.
Don’t miss this vital program if you and your spouse have endured or feel at risk for an affair! Learn some key tools to not only help avoid infidelity, but to restore trust, build forgiveness, and promote growth after an affair. You too can achieve marital peace after this traumatic development.
Call in live with questions or comments at 877-497-9046.
If you can’t make the live show you can listen to the podcast afterward at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager
One way or another, I hope you can join us!
Don’t miss my next BlogTalk Radio episode tonight about the subject of dealing with life when things fall apart. We’ve all had the experience at times of dealing with crises which create a sense of chaos and uncertainty – maybe the loss of a loved one, or a debilitating health issue, or the loss of a job or business. It always feels horrible and destabilizing, and often creates a story of victimhood or bitterness for us. But the fact is that misery is just another part of life – it inevitably comes with the joy, relief, and triumph that are also part of our story.
Tune into this half hour episode tonight and join the discussion or just listen in, and hear about some attitudes and behavioral tools which may help you to accept some of these hardships as part of being human, and move through these experiences with more wisdom and perspective. Call toll-free 877-497-9046, or if the lines are busy call 760-542-4114. I hope you can join me! If you can’t make the live show, listen to it online at your convenience by going to the web player on my website, www.SusanLager.com or at www.BlogTalkRadio/SusanLager.com
As you may be aware from my last post, “Zippy Goes Down,” I had an accident several weeks ago, resulting in a broken ankle. It’s required me to be hobbling around on an aircast when I have to move about, and to be mindful of each step, mindful of how much I rest, and to pay attention to the effects of all of this on, not only my foot, but my whole body. Aside from the lessons I’ve been learning about letting go, relaxing, and resilience, the experience has been teaching me something unexpected – to be more compassionate toward my body as it heals. This is something almost foreign for many women in America, who chronically complain about the size of their thighs, breasts, hips, etc., and compulsively beat their bodies into submission through crazy diets and brutal exercise regimens.
As I’ve watched my ankle grow stronger and seen the x-rays showing the healing bone, I’ve been amazed at the capacity of the human body, my body to bounce back with some TLC. It’s made me think back to the amazement and respect I felt for my body after giving birth to our son without incident. (I did that?!) It’s also made me much more appreciative of all the other things my loyal body does for me, usually without complaint every single day. So, I’ve made it my mission to befriend my body, as I think we all should, by being mindful of treating it with respect every day, appreciating it the way I would a trusted friend, and listening to it and the messages it gives me daily.
For a terrific little exercise about how to do this well, get Rick Hanson’s book “Just One Thing” for all the details. You can find it through the “Store” page of my website, then go to “My Amazon Store” and click on the link to Amazon. You don’t have to wait to break an ankle or an arm to do it. Cultivate compassion for your body (and yourself!) and your body will thank you back for a lifetime.
I’ve recently returned from a Couples Retreat I conducted with Meredith Richardson on Star Island, NH. Suffice it to say that the whole experience was a smashing success for not only the couples who participated, but for Meredith and myself as well.
For the couples who participated it was an exercise in moving out of their own routinized ways of seeing issues and behaving with each other. It was also an exercise in opening up with the other participants, and being vulnerable in a more public way. For me, it was an experience of leaving my own comfort zone in several ways: staying on an island for several days with a bunch of strangers, working closely with a colleague who brought very different credentials, skill sets, and ways of operating, and “roughing it” in a rustic setting without hot water, without a private bathroom, with limited shower times, and with “community meals.” And guess what? No one got killed!
As a therapist I understand the value of trying new things toward creating new “grooves” in your brain, and even how novelty can ramp up pleasure and bonding for couples. I was reminded in a direct way however, about how valuable it can be to move out of one’s comfort zone, challenge the status quo, and to try new things in the service of growth. Unless you’re jumping off a cliff, what have you got to lose?
(Now, stay tuned for more terrific Couples Retreats on and off the coast of New Hampshire and Maine)……
Laura Rivchun, Chrysalis Career Coaching
Don’t miss this important BTR episode, “Staying Positive While Looking For Work.” My co-host is Laura Rivchun, Principal at Chrysalis Career Coaching. Together we’ll be discussing the challenges people in career transitions face, particularly in this tough job market. Laura will share her insights and tips for how to “stay in the game” successfully, as well as what things NOT to do if you want to keep your options open.
Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 to just listen in, or to join us live on the air with your questions or comments. If you can’t make the live show, catch the recorded episode at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager
What a sad time this is for thousands of people who went about their business on an ordinary Sunday, and found themselves homeless, surrounded by death, and utter destruction later that evening! Even though few of us can begin to imagine the horror they endured, most of us can connect with the idea that life is fragile, and that nothing is a “given”.
The tragedy made me think about not only the heroism and resilience of the human spirit we all witness in these events, but also the sacred bonds we have with each other. As a therapist and coach, I work with people every day to help them actively cherish these bonds. I also ask myself if I too, have cherished my precious relationships, or taken them for granted lately?
I encourage anyone who loves someone, or many “someone’s”, to imagine that a tornado like the one in Missouri could be headed in your direction. Whom would you protect? What last minute bargain would you be making with the Universe or your own conception of God, regarding what you promise you’d do differently, given another chance? Would you love better? Would you be kinder? Would you tune in more? Would you stop to smell the roses? Then proceed to live your life more mindfully and open-heartedly “in the path of the tornado”.