Bipartisan Solutions (In Relationships)

If you’re at all like me you probably have a TV, and are subjected daily to news about all the rancor between the Republican, and Independent candidates competing to be the nominee against Barack Obama in the next presidential race. If you’re a real glutton for punishment, (like me), you probably also watch the news about all the fighting in Congress over issues about healthcare, job creation, and the national debt, etc.

We see the players hit stalemates with some frequency, polarizing about the “right” or “wrong” view of the issues, and then about “right” or “wrong” solutions to those problems. What’s missing most often are bipartisan solutions which incorporate mutual concerns, and work well enough for everybody.

This is what I see happens for lots of couples. They argue about what really happened, who started the problem, and what the “right” solution would be. (Does this sound familiar?) The issue could be as mundane as which restaurant to go to for dinner, or as weighty as how and when to discipline the children. Whatever the issue, it’s a battle for who will get their way, and who will be acknowledged as “right”. But if one partner is “right”, then that makes the other one “wrong”. If one “wins,” the other loses.

If you’re guilty of this polarizing stance, as most of us are at times, just look at the political scene to get an accurate picture of the likely outcome. It doesn’t bode well for any relationships, whether you’re a member of congress facing legislation with your peers, or whether you’re in a couple dealing with disciplining the kids. If you want happier relationships with everyone, then you must “reach across the aisle” and seek “bipartisan solutions”!


Susan Lager

PS.  If you’re interested in seeing my initial selection of articles which will give you tools and insights about how to have happier, closer relationships with everybody, go to the “Products” page of my website  The page will be open for purchases any day now! (I promise).

PSS. (The holdup isn’t because I’m sitting around yelling at the TV 24/7.  It’s because I’ve been in the process of publishing my first book, “I’m Talking! Are You Listening? Fix Communication Problems With Your Partner In No Time Flat!”)  Look for it soon on in paperback, then soon afterward as an ebook available for Kindle.

About Susan Lager

ABOUT ME Susan Lager, LICSW, BCD I grew up in New Rochelle, a suburb of NYC, lived in Manhattan for ten years during college and graduate school, and escaped the madness for the wilds of Maine to be with Thom, the sweet man I'm still married to after 34 years. (We have an awesome 29 year old son named Alec who will run the free world someday). I knew I'd survive the relocation from New York when I discovered the scenic, historic little city of Portsmouth, on the coast of New Hampshire, with its winding streets, great restaurants, and music everywhere. I was especially thrilled to attend the Portsmouth Psychotherapy Institute, an offshoot of the B.I.P., where I did post-graduate training, and then went into private practice creating The Couples Center PLLC, doing psychotherapy, with individuals, couples and groups. In 2010 I opened a division of the practice called COUPLESPEAK™, providing live and online coaching, training programs, workshops, and written materials for people in different kinds of partnerships. I'm still passionate about the work, which is NEVER boring! My clients are courageous pioneers, and they've taught me lots I'll pass on......
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